No One Told Me Kangaroo Court Was a Real Thing
A courtroom drama involving kangaroos, bees, and watermelons. No, really.
I always thought kangaroo court was a figure of speech.
Well, it looks like I’m wrong. (That’s not the first or last time) Now, I need to be honest and let you know that I didn’t have the experience of going to kangaroo court. Instead, it was my dad who was the lucky person to have jury duty this past week.
I’ve had jury duty a couple of times, and it’s about as fun as going to your own funeral. Wait, that doesn’t even make sense?
Anyway, my dad didn’t get picked, but can you guess what the case was about? Contract dispute? Theft? Murder? DUI? Nope, none of that stuff. The case was literally about kangaroos. The death of kangaroos to be more precise.
No, I’m not making that up, and I don’t live in Australia. I live in the middle of nowhere in East Texas.
Why the heck are we even talking about kangaroos? Good question!
In case you didn’t know, kangaroos are not native to Texas, but that’s irrelevant if you own a drive-thru “safari” and you charge people money to feed random animals out of your vehicle. Now, I’m being a little generous when I label this place a safari. It’s literally a pasture with animals. Lots of animals. Deer, camels, buffalo, ostriches, zebras, llamas, and many other animals I can’t name off the top of my head, and oh yeah, kangaroos!
The safari did close down back in the summer, but I guess they still have some animals left over because not everyone wants to buy a kangaroo. Well, the reason they were in court is that “allegedly,” the bees a farmer uses to pollinate watermelons in a nearby field attacked the kangaroos and killed them.
I have no idea of the motive or if it even happened. Maybe one day we will get to hear the bee side of the story, but I kind of doubt it.
So, they are suing them for the wrongful death of the kangaroos.
In other words, a kangaroo court is a literal thing in Texas of all places. I have no idea about the outcome of the trial, but it’s not every day someone is going to court due to kangaroos.
Who knows, maybe it will even be a Netflix true crime limited series in a few months. Killer Bees: The Kangaroo Trials.
Your dad dodged jury duty, but honestly, I’d have paid to be in that courtroom. The witness testimonies alone must have been gold,
‘Your Honor, the defendant bees were seen loitering near the roos with malicious intent…’
Thank you for the early morning chuckle Marcus.
For the record, while I enjoyed the kangaroo story, this was my favorite part:
“Thanks for being a paid subscriber and supporting weird stories like this one. If you know someone else who’d enjoy this nonsense, feel free to share it. Or gift them a subscription and drag them into this madness with you.” 😂😂😂😇