My Complicated Relationship With Doritos

How a large bag of Doritos ruined everything

Not risking a logo when I can only afford a $40 lawyer.

I’m back again, and I promise no diary post this time around.

Instead, I’m covering a much more important topic. Yes, I’m talking about Doritos. No worries, I didn’t somehow forget what I usually write about on Substack.

Believe it or not, I actually have a long history of enjoying Doritos since I was a kid. Spicy Nacho, Cool Ranch, Fiery Habanero, and the list goes on and on. All great memories, and they are a perfect addition to any healthy diet. The Dorito breath is even a nice extra bonus once you are finished.

Unfortunately, I have one incident that has forever changed my relationship with Doritos.

2019 Trip to Tennessee

My memory isn’t always the best. I usually can’t even remember what happened last week, but I can clearly remember what happened back in 2019. Now, to give some context, I spent most of 2019 focused on losing weight. I started the year around 230 pounds, and I was down to 189 pounds.

In other words, I was so close to reaching my weight loss goal. Literally just a few pounds away from finally not being overweight.

Until I discovered an extra-large bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos while making the 762-mile trip to Tennessee. Did I read a book during this time? Doubtful. Played games on my phone? Maybe. Wrote some articles on my laptop? Possible. Zoned out while looking out the window? Most likely. But one thing I can say for certain is that I ate the whole damn bag of Doritos on the way to Tennessee.

And that was the beginning of the end for my weight loss goals. Maybe I didn’t gain 10 extra pounds overnight, but the pounds started to creep back up, and all my effort was nearly wasted because of one bag of Doritos.

Now You Know

If you never see me mention Doritos, now you know why. I still hold a grudge seven years later. I was so close to reaching one of my biggest goals, and it was all derailed by a bag of chips.

Lack of discipline on my part? No way. I blame the Doritos.

So, you can see the relationship is complicated.

Some people have exes.

I have Doritos.

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